Its times like these I remember my religious childhood/adolescence; the questions that bombard every thing I was told/taught; the community services I participated in…half/full heartedly; the arguments I would have with my parents about it;the doubts..the questions…I remember singing along to Joan Osbourne’s hit song ‘What if God was one of us’.
My belief in something/one that is greater than humanity is there, always will. Through the years it my faith has been tested. Death, how it comes, when it comes and who it takes…that I can’t seem to wrap my mind around. I can’t understand why the good ones go. It breaks my heart to know of sudden death to people who serve the community, the host country they are currently in and most especially the Catholic community.
A family friend died this morning in a fire. Smoke inhalation they said. A fire that could have started out of a faulty wiring. Dead upon arrival. Husband an Emergency nurse, a kind caring generous man is now unconscious, second degree burns, in critical condition. Youngest daughter, a respectful,intelligent student, also unconscious, in critical condition. The middle child, only son awake but in shock. The eldest, expected to graduate next year with an award her papers in process for her to come. Religious family, active in church, good people in general and this happens to them. Wouldn’t you question God? I did. And this brought back many questions.
Earlier today while washing my baby, I smell a woman’s perfume in the toilet. Surely wasn’t mine. I assumed it was her. My heart broke and the tears just gushed out. I just spoke to her like she was here. Told her how sorry I was and how I wished I could be there for her family like she was for my mother as my mother was for her back in the day. But here I am broken and in tears. I prayed she was with her mother who passed away about 2 years ago. I asked her to urge her husband to come back to us, for her children.
I’ve known them since I was a child. They always remembered me as the good obedient child I was. I remember when they visited me in the maternity ward a few months ago, he would tell me to call him if I needed anything, he even told his friend nurses int he women’s hospital to take care of me, that I am his little sister. When I told them I was in pain, she told, I can do this, can get thru this, that I am strong….I needed that encouragement at that time. And they were there for me…
I prayed the rosary for the departed. Dear GOD I hope you heard me and the hundreds of people praying for them all over the world. HEAR US!